Well it has almost arrived...my 10th wedding anniversary...
Looking around me there seem to be many celebrating milestones of similar importance. My sister/brother in law (happens to be my hubby’s twin brother) are hitting their 15 year mark this month and so many other friends of mine are sharing in their own personal timeline achievements.
In reflecting on these years – almost medal worthy, I wonder if we give them enough weight or appreciation. Being with someone for a decade or more now is almost a rarity. There are so many struggles and challenges we face as both individuals, couples and parents. The world has become this easy escape from difficulty with less and less commitments to enduring the course. Divorce has become this trendy end to marital dis-satisfaction. Like candy cravings and impulse purchases we sometimes look at our lives as being in need of constant stimulation, adoration and appreciation even though we often are talking less and spending more time running in different directions than towards each other.
As I reflect on the last 10 years I see so many joys and beautiful times, while at the same time recognizing these also came alongside some great hurts, mistakes and challenges...
Are there times I wanted to give up and start all over again? – Absolutely. Is life exactly as I planned? – No. Is it a good life? – Yes, it is a great life. I have a healthy family, love, security, the ability to follow my dreams as well as a job that allows me the time to do all that want/need. Yet I, like others, still struggle to stay appreciative of all these good things and not be lured in by the greener grass on the other side (check out my song “You’ll Find” from my Hovering Above CD about that very topic – as from witnessing many people who walked to that other side of the grass – the view back to where you started is often greener than where you wandered off to!).
Should everyone stay just because they’ve committed to do so? – No.
There are combinations of people that simply don’t mix and when the struggles outweigh the joys and you’ve investigated all avenues of help to get happy, but they’ve de-railed...then don’t hang on and be a martyr to just reach a milestone. Though I will say this...happiness is a choice and it does involve an effort. Like all things in life, job, homes, etc...Family and relationships take work. If you don’t water your garden it will die...if you don’t do the work required in your job, you will be fired....the same applies in love! There is an effort that is needed to sustain a relationship and it should be high on your to-do list if you want to maintain the joy of the relationship. There is often a lot at stake within that loving unit...children, extended family and don’t think for one minute that all don’t feel the results, or lack of, within these relationships. Though we cannot live our lives to always please others!
So as I picked out my ring upgrade this week (love it!!) and struggle to think of a creative idea to mark the occasion (feel free to send along any anniversary celebration suggestions/gift ideas...big or small, as I haven’t nailed down the perfect idea yet), I do feel like the place I am at right now is where I am suppose to be. For better or worse....those words can be daunting, but it is important to recognize the value in the journey you have shared with your partner and be appreciate of each of the roles you have both played in getting there. I know these last 10 years married have certainly given me lots of song writing material!!
So if you’re celebrating an anniversary or milestone – Congratulations! Life goes by so quick it’s truly important to recognize and slow down a bit to drink in these moments and reflections.
Be the first to leave a comment